Poem: how?

how do you do it?
i'd like to know because
it would make it all so
much easier

it seems to come naturally
to you
like getting off a bike
or combing your hair
you never seem to
give it much thought while

i can't seem not to

how do you do it? because
after all this time and
so many hard, rough lessons
i still have not learned how

is it an affliction? is it a choice?
befuddled. ruffled. resolute. stuck. tightly
held yet no longer held

dropped like a rock into a still pond that
stays still

how do you do it?

how do you stop loving someone?

-- doug smith

15 July 2019

Photograph: The Home Office

My ever so humble home office. I like how the sun is shining thru the door on the wall just above three of my collages.

Obscure Altered Greeting Card

Yeah, this is a card that I believe was returned to me unopened. Oh well. 2015.

Who Wore It First?

Collage: Blue as You Do

Seems like I squared this one off as a possible album cover. It goes way back. The photos are circa 1980...

Photo: Very Big Light #7

photo by douglas brent smith

Photo: Autumn Beach

photo by douglas brent smith

I Didn't Look Back...but If I Did...by David Spiegel

“I’m numb to judgement — even my own judgement of myself. I know I’m doing the best I can. Judging yourself is a huge vulnerability because everyone else is already doing it for you. And if you’re not in that place, you’ve got no shot. Everybody else sucks at stuff too.”
~ Gary Vaynerchuck, Medium

I'm sure that if I took a look back at my writings from this time of year for the last few years, my messaging to myself would be pretty much the same. 

New Year's day is just one more day on the calendar.
January 1st does not bring new a new beginning to my life.

The idea that this upcoming year will some how magically be better than the last one is silly to me.
Simply put, I wake up each day with the knowledge that I will work hard at being better today than I was yesterday. Just that simple.

Every day is an opportunity to create a better version of me than I was the day before. Therefore, it is only logical that by doing this, this year will see an improved version of David of last year.
The only variable is how much better,and quite frankly, that does not matter.

Better is better.

Whether it's 1% or 10% .

It's still improvement.

If there was a way to measure these things, who knows, maybe 2018 saw a huge shift on the "better" scale. Maybe that percentage of "better" will only be half as much on a daily basis this year than last year. Who cares? Better is still better!

Say my goal was to say become a better free throw shooter. On day one I shot 1 for 10. On day two I shot 2 for 10. That's a 100% improvement. On day three I shot 3 for 10. That's great, even though statistically I didn't improve as much.

You see where this is going. If I got 1 more in every day, at the end of 10 days I would be 10 for 10..
Would that mean I was done, finished, perfect? Or maybe of the 10 for 10, 9 hit the rim first and then fell in. Maybe I could work at each one being a swish....nothing but net. I would still be 10 for 10, yet improving none the less.

Better is better. Period!

My plan for today?
Nothing but net!

-- David Spiegel

How to Test Drive a Pickle

  How to Test Drive a Pickle -- collage by douglas brent smith, 25 December 1987