Funny Props

 

Funny Props
As an occasional actor I've been known to buy my own props. Sometimes it's part of my process (of becoming the role) and sometimes it's because the theatre I'm working with has a small budget. 

This picture (above) is no doubt the result of a stalking retail site (you know who) sorting thru my purchases (and views) and deciding that yes, Doug you need this: this marvelous pair of glasses.

I don't. Not at the moment. But I'll keep it in mind if a role requiring that lands in my lap.

It reminds me of other funny props that I've worked with: mouse ears, beaver ears, a bell, a wine bottle, real food (beef stew from a can, yum), and that's not even mentioning the many props I've used with children's theater when I toured with Child's Play. 

What were your most unusual tools of the trade? Did you master them? Did they bring you fully into your role and make you seem more alive?

Funny props are more than funny. They facilitate fun.

-- doug smith


User Agreement Rider

User Agreement Rider

Do you like reading and committing to User Agreements?

Of course you don't. They are pure rubbish. .Designed to make you read them, but written so that you can't read them (because they are confusing and massively too long) we mostly end up pretending that we did read them just to get on with whatever we want to do.

Not fair.

Not designed to be fair. Designed to cover the butts of the people who wrote the User Agreement and to restrict the rest of us from being ourselves, from doing what we want and need to do, and from exercising our rights.

In a perfect world, all of those user agreements are unenforceable. Maybe, even in an imperfect world.

Is it really an agreement if we don't agree to it? If we don't have any influence on what goes INTO an agreement, how is THAT an agreement?

Enough!

We need some sanity. 

I hereby propose a universal User Agreement Rider to invoke whenever you've had enough of an evil User Agreement.  No lawyers have been involved in the drafting of this universal escape clause. I offer no legal advice. The fun, the humor, the blatant disregard is completely up to you.

There are no guarantees, but aren't you tired of being TOLD what you agree to? Try this on for size.


User Agreement Rider 1.0



This Rider amends any user agreement the user intends to amend. No signature is necessary, simply refer to User Agreement Rider 1.0 to invoke your rights to amend the agreement.


Regardless of the intentions of the conditions of any user agreement, we reject and refuse any agreement for any condition that:


  1. Requires binding arbitration or restricts our right to litigate.
  2. Limits our right to quote or make fair use of the content.
  3. Claims ownership for any content that we contribute or collaborate on.
  4. Requires us to indemnify, legally protect, or compensate the originator of the agreement for anything caused by or contributed to by the originator of the agreement.
  5. Any other condition that restricts or violates our rights as described by the laws of the land where we live. 
  6. Any provision that appears after the 500th word of the agreement.
  7. Any provision presented in less than 12 point font.
  8. Any provision that attempts to void this rider.


That's it. That's the whole thing. If you'd like a pdf copy you can find one here.

Thanks for playing. Good luck. 



P.S.

This is not legal advice. If you need legal advice you should consult an attorney. 

Sketch: Cat in the Middle

 

Cat in the Middle

Sketch from Journal #61

douglas brent smiyth


The cat in the middle wonders what Tom was thinking about.

Sometimes the Best Thing to Do Is Draw

 

Sometimes the best thing to do is draw

sketch by douglas brent smith



What have you drawn today? Why not take a moment and draw something, anything?


Theatre: "The Box Show" (with a nod & wink to Samuel Becket)

A person starts surrounded by and covered with boxes of all sizes. These are boxes that must be unpacked for that person to be free.

The boxes contain limiting thoughts, assumptions, cultural restrictions, religious constraints, bigotry, fears - lots of fears, illness, affliction, authority, rules, regulations, anarchy, chaos, regional assumptions, ethnic blurring, ethnic purity, ethnic ethos, ethics, non-ethics, commandments, sermons, skewed exegesis, historical oppression, satire, sarcasm, judgment, broken relationships, damaged relationships, power, powerlessness, pain, lost love, stolen love, broken love, broken promises, broken dreams, forgotten dreams, forgotten lessons learned, forgotten family, estranged family, substance abuse, sugar stars and swings, animal distancing and objectivizing, sexism, racism, greed, slander, lust, deference, danger, risk, confusion, misunderstanding, brokenness, separation, turning away, turning against, ignorance, stagnation, sloth, sorrow, and maybe more.

What is the worst box? What should be done about each box?

Is there a single universal box cutter?

Should some boxes be sealed and forgotten: released? 

How does one release?

Can you make money releasing?

Music plays. Choose your music carefully because music changes everything. Or, don't.

And then, and then (another ACT) we find useful positive, powerful boxes: the love of others, the joy of a baby's smile, spring mornings, birds singing, learning to play the guitar, running, swimming, helping others, learning to get a sound out of a flute, learning to get an answer from a person, serving others, releasing, breathing, meditating, praying, redemption, salvation, sanctification, saving, preserving, remembering, faithfulness, dedication, creative flow, courage, compassion, clarity, centeredness, shelter, warmth, relief, rolling into change, a first kiss, a hundredth kiss, endless kissing, kindness, forgiveness, release.

Theatre of learning. Theatre of dreaming. You.

"I was trapped in a box. But, the box was inside another box. It reminded me of a bib that I wore as a toddler sitting in my primitive wooden high chair: it was a picture of a chef eating a massive plate of spaghetti. He was wearing a bib that had a picture of a chef eating a massive plate of spaghetti - and also wearing a bib of a chef eating a massive plate of spaghetti.

"Did this make me enjoy spaghetti more? Or did it distort my sense of time and space? Or did it more accurately describe time and space than anything after which is why I remember it so many years later? What do you think?

"Have you unpacked all of your boxes? Are you sure?"


-- doug smith

This is an open-source, public domain performance piece. You may perform it in any medium and alter it in any way. Please do acknowledge the use with attribution to the author, douglas brent smith. Thanks.



Not Obsolete

Things -- and people -- well cared for need not go obsolete. Getting tired of something is a choice. Discarding the old is a choice. While we should continually improve ourselves, our materials, our technology, there is still value in preserving what lives on with quality.

That great guitar. That classic car. That recipe that still tastes good.

There was an episode of "The Twilight Zone" on this week about "Obsolete." Burgess Meredith plays a librarian who in some autocratic society had been judged (under penalty of death) as obsolete. The last forbidden book he pulls from hiding, as he awaits his execution, is a Bible. He was not truly obsolete. His value as a being was unquestionable and though thru cleverness he brings his executioner to fear at being himself on the edge of facing his own imminent death, locked in a room with a bomb, the librarian does allow mercy (in God's name) to prevail, setting free his captor even though he himself will perish.

Like many "Twilight Zone" episodes it is a metaphor, loaded with truth. The librarian is not obsolete.

Books -- in their physical form with pages you can touch and smell -- are not obsolete. E-books are wonderful. It's amazing to be able to carry a library in your pocket and search for any word or passage. We're lucky and blessed to have such great technology. That advanced technology can, and does, co-exist with the world-changing older technology of physical publishing. There's something untouchable about physical touch. Something invincible. Something lasting.

I wrote this (in my journal) by hand even though it would have been far faster to type into my computer, because as Julia Cameron insists regarding Morning Pages we do feel a tighter connection and create flow putting pen to paper. That is true for me. 

My notebooks remain vital, physical reminders of the vitality of life itself. We flow on. We find the connections, We create with love and joy.

And the impact is both instant and deferred. I feel an immediate boost. A smile lights and lightens my old face making me younger. Later, the deferred part fuels a longer day and greater range of creativity. Maybe I'll make a college. Maybe I'll write a song. Maybe I'll write a play.

Possibilities abound. I'm old, but not retired, and hopefully, not obsolete.

Indeed, life is good.

-- doug smith


Blowing In His Hair

Blowing in his hair

Sketch by douglas brent smith

17 March 2021

Communication Skills Training

Virtual Training on Tuesday, January 18 from 10:00 am ET to 12:00 pm

Communicating for Results

Explore and practice the communication skills you need to develop better conversations, more productive meetings, and more powerful presentations. 

During this highly interactive virtual training you will:

  • Develop strategies for dealing with barriers to effective communication
  • Identify the keys to listening effectively
  • Discover the secret to dealing with difficult personalities
  • Practice CLUES to Success, five key ingredients for powerful and influential communication

WHEN: January 18 from 10:00 am ET to 12:00 pm

REGISTER HERE

Price: only $49.95 

Testimonials from previous participants:

"I've already used what I've learned. Literally I wrote an email yesterday which was more like a vent, then Doug was in my head clear as a bell 'is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind?' and while therapeutic for me to get it off my chest, I ultimately put it to Doug's test and deleted it! I'm happy about that. I'm also looking forward to using more questions to bet better results. I have a new super power!"

-- Participant from Bucks County, PA

"Doug was excellent. He was a skilled communicator and great at holding everyone's attention."

"Doug did a great job with relating the content to real life situations. He was also very engaging and kept my interest in the content through the course."'

"I am glad I signed-up for the webinar -- it's THE best I have over the several webinars I have taken...Doug is so professional, explains very well on everything we need to do to start and complete a successful project. Doug is so resourceful -- the experience that he brought and shared with us is amazing! Thank you Doug for sharing your knowledge and expertise."
-- participant from Edmonton, Alberta, CA

WHEN: January 18 from 10:00 am ET to 12:00 pm

REGISTER HERE

Price: only $49.95

 


Heart and Mind

Love crosses my mind every day. It's when it crosses my heart that it brings me to tears.

-- doug smith


 

Elipses...

I like eclipses...because that implies there is more to the story and that I don't know all of the answers because maybe (maybe!) the emerging nature of the universe (and certainly our perception...) allows new answers to form. 

Maybe we can (do...?) try on new realities just for fun because (maybe...) there is no one permanent reality. (That is not to excuse ALL things or even to explain all things. It is to allow all things whatever is to be.)

"That's crazy talk."

"Yes. But, is it really?"

-- doug smith

 

No One Expected Moses

  No One Expected Moses -- collage by douglas brent smith 4 August 1983