87th Place Oak Lawn, Ilinois

87th Place Oak Lawn, Ilinois -- painting by Douglas Brent Smith, 1977.

I lived with my mother for a brief time in 1977. My girlfriend at the time, Annie, wanted to escape herself to Florida (haven't seen her since) and so she plotted with my mom for me to move to Oak Lawn. The first gift my mom gave me there was a blue T-shirt that said "Wellinthehellis Oak Lawn, IL?".

Jack, Mom's husband, was mostly on the road working but when he was home he'd often give mom a hard time so she wanted me there to calm things down. Jack and I got along great but he was an alcoholic and would hit mom -- but not when I was there, which was why I was there.

After I returned to New Jersey Mom would eventually have Jack arrested and Jack straightened up. He stopped drinking. He became safe and loving. They had some happy years together.

This painting is a self-portrait. I was blessed with lots of time so I painted. Gosh, how I loved painting. I used acrylics because they dried fast. I'd spend all day painting with shows like the Match Game on TV or listening to WXRT stereo.

Jack asked me once "When are you going to get a job?" which was a perfectly fair question. He even arranged an interview with UPS for Johnny (his son) and me. Johnny got the job, I didn't is how I remember it but maybe I didn't even follow the lead to the interview. I don't remember. You could say I was a slacker. I thought of myself as bohemian. Beatnik. Cool. But, I should have gotten a job.

While I lived there I landed the role of The Divine One in the play "When North Is East and South Is West." which is where I Sally Craig Christianson, who both Del and I fell madly in love with, but she was already married so we were simply wonderful friends -- constantly laughing and hanging out backstage.

Also during that play I met Nena. She lived not that far from me and not far from Bob Armstrong so we'd sometimes share rides home. Bob drove a beat-up Ford Pinto with a rusted out drivers side floor. Nena sat on my lap. I recommend that as a way to get closer together, but not as a safety practice.

Nena and I had one date before I left Chicago to return to NJ. It was a fun time walking around the Loop. We had lunch at a diner. Neither one of us had much money. I remember her counting coins with her hands hidden under the table. I think (I hope) that I picked up the tab.

Nena backstage at the Playwright Center in Chicago

It was enough I guess to spark a flame, or at least a correspondence, that lead to so much more.

How's that for context for this self-portrait? I've got to admit, I like it.

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about you

something sincere about you nurtures honesty open; childlike, free so few ever knew such fearless listening something warm about you presses the passion in me with clenching senses, loving exceeding even love something radiant within you soothingly sends comfort assurance, confidence, calm distinctively grounded with you only you so much special in total about you levels beyond my understanding but firmly with the grasp of my appreciation and wonder and awe not on a pedestal something removed from any gaze unassailably you douglas brent smith

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i became aware of the poetry of existance and of the artistry of her voice of her thin, gentle fingers and the honesty of her eyes 1973

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"i saw your sister down at the Wayside cutting chances into glances like she was the original midnight dancer, understand?" "that may be true but she ain't been seen with you..." "my choice fella gotta whole lotta other visions on my mind this rocky eve, if you know what i mean..." "no kidding, i'm skidding on outta here before those two a.m. mayhem stratagems force their fire down my throat but catch this Mr. Bliss -- you keep your face away from my sister, mister..." "oh now, just ain't you too baaaaaaad?" -- douglas brent smith

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Notes: Peter, Harry, and I started a little touring theatre company we called the Mustard Seed Theatre Company. We had very limited success for an all too brief amount of time. I later revived the name at churches in Chicago, and I'm sure that any search would uncover other theatre companies bearing that name, but we loved it while we proudly wore it on our t-shirts. These sketches are modest attempts at logos. circa 1977-1978

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