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Horizontal Hold

on March 10, 2024

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Horizontal Hold - collage by douglas brent smith 29 May 1989

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Forever

Nobody lives forever. Everybody lives forever. You're right either way. -- doug smith

Have you ever thrown anything away and then regretted it? Gone Box i filled a dumpster no i filled a dumpster two times and another dumpster, too i didn't have permission and they weren't my dumpsters but it was always at night and i wanted some things out of my life foolishly books. paintings. collages. tools. and one really big relationship deeper than any box gone a box filled with memories set afire. and no matter how much i dream i cannot retrieve that box. -- douglas brent smith

Cavalier Club at Large

Cavalier Club at Large -- collage by douglas brent smith, 1995 From Journal #30, Operation Fresh Start, 1995. NOTES: I've owned (or co-owned) four Chevy Cavaliers and loved every single one. I've loved them so much that I even contemplated forming a Cavalier Club -- or maybe finding one that already existed. Such charming little cars. Basic, the last one I owned had wind-up windows. Fun to drive, a bit sporty without being too fast (can a car be too fast?). My favorite was a blue 1987 station wagon version of a Cavalier. It had an old, permanent smell that was not at all unpleasant. I loved that car and commuting to work in Trevose in that car and it was named Bluebird. Sometimes I would sit in Bluebird and eat my lunch in the parking lot of UFLIC on Street Road. I was recently in that parking lot again for a gig with CareerTrack and another for the college but I barely recognized the building or the lot because they had changed so much. Still, the vibes were good. I ...

a message received

there are times when our imaginations paint pictures better than sunsets play chords more stirring than violin strings times when hearts beat faster sounding panic stilled by its own clock alarming signals ringing clipped wings singular embarrassing defining a new way of being one such time i was prepared for the best of advancing, making progress to reach you it would go so well you'd be able to tell how i feel and you would see the magic in my tricks the longing in my voice the muse for your amusement in that alter place of hyper-reality: high school and none of the rumors had helped my cause, noe of the phone calls brou...

Back it up?

Desire without discipline is disappointing. -- doug smith

Ever Have a Dog?

Ever have a dog that has passed on? If so, you miss that dog, don't you. Dogs are such wonderful creatures, such perfect examples of unconditional love. I'm mostly a cat person, but of the few dogs who have shared parts of my life, I miss them all. If you have a dog, give it some attention. Watch that tail wag with joy. Smile. -- doug smith

no surprise

is it any wonder our thoughts stack over-lapping on top of one another some vast library caught in an earthquake of dreaming out of order when was the last time you were truly alone? 25 July 1988

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