The whole universe is in motion. Keep moving.
-- doug smith
User Agreement Rider
Do you like reading and committing to User Agreements?
Of course you don't. They are pure rubbish. .Designed to make you read them, but written so that you can't read them (because they are confusing and massively too long) we mostly end up pretending that we did read them just to get on with whatever we want to do.
Not fair.
Not designed to be fair. Designed to cover the butts of the people who wrote the User Agreement and to restrict the rest of us from being ourselves, from doing what we want and need to do, and from exercising our rights.
In a perfect world, all of those user agreements are unenforceable. Maybe, even in an imperfect world.
Is it really an agreement if we don't agree to it? If we don't have any influence on what goes INTO an agreement, how is THAT an agreement?
Enough!
We need some sanity.
I hereby propose a universal User Agreement Rider to invoke whenever you've had enough of an evil User Agreement. No lawyers have been involved in the drafting of this universal escape clause. I offer no legal advice. The fun, the humor, the blatant disregard is completely up to you.
There are no guarantees, but aren't you tired of being TOLD what you agree to? Try this on for size.
User Agreement Rider 1.0
This Rider amends any user agreement the user intends to amend. No signature is necessary, simply refer to User Agreement Rider 1.0 to invoke your rights to amend the agreement.
Regardless of the intentions of the conditions of any user agreement, we reject and refuse any agreement for any condition that:
- Requires binding arbitration or restricts our right to litigate.
- Limits our right to quote or make fair use of the content.
- Claims ownership for any content that we contribute or collaborate on.
- Requires us to indemnify, legally protect, or compensate the originator of the agreement for anything caused by or contributed to by the originator of the agreement.
- Any other condition that restricts or violates our rights as described by the laws of the land where we live.
- Any provision that appears after the 500th word of the agreement.
- Any provision presented in less than 12 point font.
- Any provision that attempts to void this rider.
That's it. That's the whole thing. If you'd like a pdf copy you can find one here.
Thanks for playing. Good luck.
P.S.
This is not legal advice. If you need legal advice you should consult an attorney.
Sketch: Cat in the Middle
Sketch from Journal #61
douglas brent smiyth
The cat in the middle wonders what Tom was thinking about.
Sometimes the Best Thing to Do Is Draw
sketch by douglas brent smith
What have you drawn today? Why not take a moment and draw something, anything?
Theatre: "The Box Show" (with a nod & wink to Samuel Becket)
A person starts surrounded by and covered with boxes of all sizes. These are boxes that must be unpacked for that person to be free.
The boxes contain limiting thoughts, assumptions, cultural restrictions, religious constraints, bigotry, fears - lots of fears, illness, affliction, authority, rules, regulations, anarchy, chaos, regional assumptions, ethnic blurring, ethnic purity, ethnic ethos, ethics, non-ethics, commandments, sermons, skewed exegesis, historical oppression, satire, sarcasm, judgment, broken relationships, damaged relationships, power, powerlessness, pain, lost love, stolen love, broken love, broken promises, broken dreams, forgotten dreams, forgotten lessons learned, forgotten family, estranged family, substance abuse, sugar stars and swings, animal distancing and objectivizing, sexism, racism, greed, slander, lust, deference, danger, risk, confusion, misunderstanding, brokenness, separation, turning away, turning against, ignorance, stagnation, sloth, sorrow, and maybe more.
What is the worst box? What should be done about each box?
Is there a single universal box cutter?
Should some boxes be sealed and forgotten: released?
How does one release?
Can you make money releasing?
Music plays. Choose your music carefully because music changes everything. Or, don't.
And then, and then (another ACT) we find useful positive, powerful boxes: the love of others, the joy of a baby's smile, spring mornings, birds singing, learning to play the guitar, running, swimming, helping others, learning to get a sound out of a flute, learning to get an answer from a person, serving others, releasing, breathing, meditating, praying, redemption, salvation, sanctification, saving, preserving, remembering, faithfulness, dedication, creative flow, courage, compassion, clarity, centeredness, shelter, warmth, relief, rolling into change, a first kiss, a hundredth kiss, endless kissing, kindness, forgiveness, release.
Theatre of learning. Theatre of dreaming. You.
"I was trapped in a box. But, the box was inside another box. It reminded me of a bib that I wore as a toddler sitting in my primitive wooden high chair: it was a picture of a chef eating a massive plate of spaghetti. He was wearing a bib that had a picture of a chef eating a massive plate of spaghetti - and also wearing a bib of a chef eating a massive plate of spaghetti.
"Did this make me enjoy spaghetti more? Or did it distort my sense of time and space? Or did it more accurately describe time and space than anything after which is why I remember it so many years later? What do you think?
"Have you unpacked all of your boxes? Are you sure?"
-- doug smith
This is an open-source, public domain performance piece. You may perform it in any medium and alter it in any way. Please do acknowledge the use with attribution to the author, douglas brent smith. Thanks.
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