What Is Infinity?

 

What Is Infinity?

What Is Infinity? -- collage by douglas brent smith, from Journal #31, Collaborating In Three Spheres, 1996

Three Spheres #2

 

Three Spheres #2

Three Spheres #2 -- sketch by douglas brent smith. From Journal #31, Collaborating In Three Spheres, 1996.


While I was drawing this my son Juan, five years old, asked me what I was doing.

"Drawing." I said

"Can I draw, too?" he asked.

"Of course."

So here's what he drew:


Drawing by Juan Lopez Smith, age 5


Three Spheres #1

 

Three Spheres #1

"Three Spheres #1" sketch by douglas brent smith, 1996. From the journal Collaborating In Three Spheres" 1996.


I often save my doodles. Each one is a little story. If the doodles (Hey, they're drawings!) show up in a journal, well they are there a long time. I have not thrown away many journals. I hope that when I am gone that someone saves them...and then when I'm gone I land someplace where I can still draw.

Try saving YOUR doodles. Put them in a book. Collect them. They may make you smile some day and will likely help someone to remember you with a smile. 


-- doug smith



a message received

there are times when our imaginations   

paint pictures better than sunsets   

play chords more stirring   

than violin strings   


times when hearts beat faster   

sounding panic stilled by its

own clock alarming signals

ringing clipped wings

singular embarrassing 


defining a new way of being


one such time

i was prepared for the best of

   advancing, making progress

     to reach you it   

         would go so well   

            you'd be able to tell   

                how i feel and   

                    you would see


the magic in my tricks the

longing in my

voice the

muse for your amusement

in that alter place of hyper-reality: high school

and

none of the rumors had   

helped my cause, noe of

the phone calls brought you near

(no to the prom two years in a row)


(isn't two years in high school an eternity?)


my projects framed, posed, presented to

bring you flattered flustered and favoring

blissfully to a place we would share


there


(touched by inspiration, moved

by spirit, aching longingly)


i stood in the front of the class:

everyone knew. teacher knew. debra knew.

david, carole, glenn knew. leslie, laurie, barb

knew and

                you knew.

as i read the poems to you


e.e.cummings all pointed all obvious all

wishing (no!) kissing toward you


dramatically framed i saw too late

a mistake, in your derision in your

freeze

oh, the face you made.


you hung your head a little as 

i spoke in verse of hearts and

little voices and dreams and rain and

beggars and visions and

intricate ladies of poet's love, my love 

to you (no, gasp, toward you) i hope for

the best and watch it

fall


and when finished, papers put away

you...you...you...looked right at me.

sharp totally focused sweet beautiful

blue eyes looked right into mine.


with...with...with seething hatred

a pressure point anger overflowing


oh!


all this time your stare stays clear

my worst miss a sting for this

it did not go as planned


if i could only say with the power to erase

i am so...i am so... i am so sorry.



NOTES:

Are all poems true stories? This one is. An artist can think that creativity will save them, raise them, influence others and make all things beautiful but...ah, but that is not always the case. This case was perhaps my first crushing disappointment at trying to reach someone (she knows who she is) thru poetry instead of maybe just initiating a conversation, a walk, a few moments to talk. Why was that so hard to do?

But I try to look at it this way now -- how bad could it have been, it gave you this poem?

-- doug smith

photo: doug smith


 

no surprise

is it any wonder our     

thoughts stack     

over-lapping on     

top of one another     

some vast library caught in     

an earthquake of     

                           dreaming     

out of order when     

was the last time you     

were truly alone?     

          


25 July 1988     


 

collage by doug smith

morning details

part of this nutritious breakfast:

a quiet time an hour of thought 

three sometimes four layers of

cereal in the bowl (always the 

same bowl and the one spoon)

morning details to center the day

a strong slender tower rising

to face the resilient

serial motions of standing tall

a prayer before the first bite

vitamin, juice, black coffee

the soft gentle snoring of my son

in the next room peaceful, still

birds sing familiar tunes clapping

this day this tree of living this world

at five forty-five and the morning is alive

with details.




29 March 1988

All the horses in collageland

All the horses in collageland - collage by douglas brent smith



Ever Have a Dog?

Ever have a dog that has passed on? If so, you miss that dog, don't you. Dogs are such wonderful creatures, such perfect examples of unconditional love. 

I'm mostly a cat person, but of the few dogs who have shared parts of my life, I miss them all.

If you have a dog, give it some attention. Watch that tail wag with joy. Smile. 

-- doug smith

 

mom



Buddy



Forever

Forever


Nobody lives forever. Everybody lives forever. 

You're right either way.

-- doug smith