douglas brent smith

if you catch me counting stars some night when i should be gazing into your eyes or if a tear drop forms when we should be  celebrating chalk it up to mystery or a muse chasing escaping vibrations but never blame your self and never doubt our love. -- douglas brent smith  

someone found sparkly yellow stuff, indifferent deep in the ground wet in pebbles too thick to drink too heavy for wheels small quantities scattered "let's make it money" they said "because it's so pretty..." now everybody wants what was  in fort knox as if every heavy clunk of gold held a genie inside with three wishes for riches and what do you  do with them but  wish for more gold -- douglas brent smith  

can you still feel my cords? she said often after the heat had subsided and we were nearing sleep at first i said yes, even though i had no idea where they were or if they still were but like so many other lessons from you i learned after learning every square lovely inch of your warm body where your chords were cords there were other chords, also: lines from your soul to mine gullible at your will veins mixing sunbursts with rain notes from my guitar, chords calling your name after long walks with puppy dog after altercations over where each or both of us would live (tell me) can you still feel my chords a thousand miles away? -- douglas brent smith  

if i were a hippopotamus i'd never wear a suit because one would never fit be chic or even cute if i were a hippopotamus apart from where the rest go sitting alone in my hippo home i'd chat on the phone with Ionesco. --- douglas brent smith  

somewhere a special lady speaks my name smiling and remembering some soft magic moments that turned the world on wheels to a happy tune while someplace here this dreamer thinks of her grinning that glorious grin weaving that wonderful touch into a golden design of unmistakable beauty and caring. -- douglas brent smith  

in the distance far beyond my reach sits a curious quizzical lady reflecting on near misses and wet kisses and tardy attempts to connect beat shaded under-rated near-miss exchanges sharing these changes as time slips from us while clouds, rain, thunder sweeps over keeping distances prim far turns trim blinking in the flash thinking we cannot know how to go now to hear one of our voices sing what only wisdom brings there's time enough for knowing. -- douglas brent smith  

all of her goldfish died she bought one each day at the exotic pet shop filled with fish who eat fish she put the stranger in a bowl watched it swim around went to class came back finding the fish floating motionless at the top dead each day so she gave up fish for plants placed in her window they reached for the sun gracefully willing and as if pulled madly trembled, withered, wandered toward death as if strangled by some invisible plant canceler oblivious to all this she grasped my trusting hand and led me to her dormitory bed and in the morning wondered why i hadn't died. -- douglas brent smith 

my tongue once tense relaxes prodding a voice grown resonant when seeking to impress you standing there hiding from my nuance from those hints of what might be for you and me a new way of singing reveal yourself your will your firm resolve not tempted beyond but pulled from within go ahead and hide yourself those firm breasts those long legs those changeable strange eyes those deeply thought sighs save it, turn away, i do not care any more my wooden voice speaks perfect platitudes of logic aloof alone independent calm even though if your no became oh...yes we could discover what our tongues do best. -- douglas brent smith  

the kids don't care they say strap them down with boulders place flames upon their shoulders cause the kids don't care the code has faded somewhere all the punitive measures tied to worthless treasures when the kids don't care the kids don't care we see when we fill them up with pap who's the queen and who's the sap? when the kids don't care. -- douglas brent smith  

the prospect of dreams dwindling idly so much smoke gladly burned            spent offerings proffered to spirits unseen uncaring shaking sudden hours of time loose changing loose change to dreams of its own so dance this way dear with your reflection in my glasses and your breath on my lips secrets shared are no less lasting and no more distant than the sweet soft sound of yes. douglas brent smith  

your heart sheds tears to me never for me as if i were your psychiatrist of love wise in the ways of your wanting though absent from the joys  you feel lost listen... i once chased a butterfly for an hour hoping it would remain free dancing there with me letting it land in my hand and know me because the moon knows and the stars know and this butterfly knows that though free and skittish and uncommitted our love is never lost but aloft on butterfly wings. douglas brent smith  

of course there were thousands of rational even dramatic reasons why we would never work out or remain together like gravity i keep falling for you like fate untested and irresistible because that voice those eyes that nonstop dancing and because you could tie a cherry stem with your tongue. douglas brent smith  

your soft kisses danced across my face your agile fingers found my heart stars and planets shuddered underneath the stark, darkness hinted with each breath your eyes with tiny tears smile up at me pleading, asking begging (gleefully) though your voice said firmly "no." douglas brent smith  

precisely because i can not tame you or hold you to promises you'll never keep for the fumbling from friction and tension weeping in the night wondering where you are incredibly over the constant terrors you touch me with a velvet glove over fondness lost losing with the lies from eyes once true now gazing on weakness crushed under your strength i wonder why i want you more than before. douglas brent smith  

 thru five years we've danced daringly with many diverse partners crept thru bedroom windows of  a few starched spirits and spilled a few tears of our own after five years kids become searching adults, your face remains soft and warm and my hands remain calloused but curious (a learning, yearning, burning process breathing Spring, simmering Summer fearless Fall) in five years it appears: some dreams last longer than others and life's road turns faster with eyes open as it rolls on revealing (with a wink) that some cycles and hearts remain synchronized, and that dance steps  echo softly and that i love you still. douglas brent smith

soaring up here on a colombian vacation  looking up to find you  straight ahead looking down eyes narrow ears open for sounds lending a touch of thin but absolute meaning strong enough to stand wearing someone else's  shirt. douglas brent smith

magic never mattered much spells and incantations are punchlines pounding air barely worth a chuckle and lately most of life stacks a natural order and predictable placid piecemeal wave but a breath and a sigh ago in the warm night air somewhere between the pause of the sunset and the promise of dawn you touched me gently recklessly upsetting all mystery a promise no proper landing dancing between knowing and  hiding in a never-land of  grins and giggles shakes and surprises dreams and desire say, maybe there is magic after all. douglas brent smith  

universal bang it was a universal bang it was a universal bang it was a big bang got to thinking about the nature of existance and with a certain degree of persistence i proceeded to untangle all the angles that approach us from the cosmic cloud encroaching us all leading to the theory that a weary sort of human needs awakening acumen to make sense of any reasoning and weather all the seasoning that's bound to blow right thru you no matter what you do you come up a little short and then it slips right thru your hands again it hasn't changed much to the aliens deciding if we're enemies or friends still hoping that we finally get the joke universal bank it was a universal bang it was a universal bang it was a big bang. douglas brent smith Note: from journal #10, cry Wolf (1977)

here and gone and here again the most peculiar fleeing friend you stay you go you tell me so i know it's sure it's what you name it's all in how you play the game but oh i wait here for your kiss there's something that you should not miss: cry wolf my dear and see what shows the wolf will come and i will go. douglas brent smith  

come to me as the person you know as the one who will go softly in silence from you slowly and close feel the most we can offer all of this flesh thru the mess of our parting there. you see? the magic the warmth still willingly there all we have shared has formed a bond not to tie us or hold us captive but to wrap our walk thru this passage peacefully gentle compassionately free. douglas brent smith Note: This is at least the third version of this poem. I'll never get it exactly right, just as I never figured out how to get breaking up exactly right. Much has changed since 1977 when the first bits of this poem appeared, and yet...much remains a mystery -- like the mystery of how does someone fall out of love? To me it feels the same as if you said you'd decided to stop breathing. How do you do that?