I Didn't Look Back...but If I Did...by David Spiegel

“I’m numb to judgement — even my own judgement of myself. I know I’m doing the best I can. Judging yourself is a huge vulnerability because everyone else is already doing it for you. And if you’re not in that place, you’ve got no shot. Everybody else sucks at stuff too.”

~ Gary Vaynerchuck, Medium

I'm sure that if I took a look back at my writings from this time of year for the last few years, my messaging to myself would be pretty much the same.

New Year's day is just one more day on the calendar.

January 1st does not bring new a new beginning to my life.

The idea that this upcoming year will some how magically be better than the last one is silly to me.

Simply put, I wake up each day with the knowledge that I will work hard at being better today than I was yesterday. Just that simple.

Every day is an opportunity to create a better version of me than I was the day before. Therefore, it is only logical that by doing this, this year will see an improved version of David of last year.

The only variable is how much better,and quite frankly, that does not matter.

Better is better.

Whether it's 1% or 10% .

It's still improvement.

If there was a way to measure these things, who knows, maybe 2018 saw a huge shift on the "better" scale. Maybe that percentage of "better" will only be half as much on a daily basis this year than last year. Who cares? Better is still better!

Say my goal was to say become a better free throw shooter. On day one I shot 1 for 10. On day two I shot 2 for 10. That's a 100% improvement. On day three I shot 3 for 10. That's great, even though statistically I didn't improve as much.

You see where this is going. If I got 1 more in every day, at the end of 10 days I would be 10 for 10..

Would that mean I was done, finished, perfect? Or maybe of the 10 for 10, 9 hit the rim first and then fell in. Maybe I could work at each one being a swish....nothing but net. I would still be 10 for 10, yet improving none the less.

Better is better. Period!

My plan for today?

Nothing but net!

Swish!

-- David Spiegel

Comments

A Full Moon Wasn't The Half of It

A Full Moon Wasn't The Half of It -- collage by douglas brent smith, 1986

You Can Be Positive

You Can Be Positive - collage by douglas brent smith.

Worldview Built In A Day With Fire

Worldview Built In A Day With Fire - collage by douglas brent smith, 3 January 1988 Something about this collage causes me to page quickly past it, yet if I spend more time absorbed in it there is more to see. I pondered cropping it. I cut out dozens of pieces of pictures that could go in with it, but found it hard to obscure the central image. Worldview? Examination? Built in a day? The hints of mixed media with the pen lines were attempts to draw it all together. Did it work?

Levitating a Small Guitar

Levitating a Small Guitar - sketch by douglas brent smith (probably 1991). "Do you think that he could levitate a large guitar, that is to say, a normal sized guitar as well?" "No doubt. It might take some practice, though." "Does it come naturally?" "It comes with practice." "That is more like a ukulele than a guitar." "Nope. It has six strings. Guitar." "Small" "But he could also levitate a large guitar. Maybe one wasn't available." "Well, you've got to start someplace." "Yes." - dbS -

Worldview Built In a Day

Worldview Built In a Day - collage by douglas brent smith, 3 January 1988

What The Cats Discovered

What The Cats Discovered - digital collage by douglas brent smith, 2 March 2024 With glue and paper, once you've set the glue you either live with it, tear it off, or paste something over it. That makes the work exacting and a bit risky. With a digital collage, such as this one, you can change your mind and simply iterate. That's fun, too. There could be an endless series of versions of the same picture that is not the same picture. I don't necessarily want that, but I wasn't sure I was satisfied with the first version (above) so here are some alternatives. The What the Cats Discovered Remix, or More of What The Cats Discovered: More of What The Cats Discovered (Outside Remix) - douglas brent smith 2 March 2024 ore of What The Cats Discovered, Inside Remix, douglas brent smith 2 March 2024 What one do you like the best? I promise that I will NOT do this with every collage. Tonight, it was fun.

Make Waves

Make Waves - collage by douglas brent smith, 19890601 Oddities Unexplained: This collage, created June 1, 1989, appears on page 249 (with the back-side of the page simply the title) of journal #25. Communication, and the following poem, "Waves" was written on June 30, 1990 (more than a year later) and appears on page 251 of the same journal. I think how something like that happens is that there was a time when I created collages in my journals deep within the pages, long before the journal writing caught up. Plus, this particular journal took longer than usual to write. Does it matter? Not much. But, there you have it. Here's the poem: Waves everything on the surface develops a skin of its own unexamined, unrevealed, unkissed by the sun and then something falls with the unrelenting force of gravity and breaks that surface bearing a new moment which makes waves ohmyohmyohmyohmyohmy holycowholycowholycowholycow... but then the waves dissipate and the skin of the surface

Downstream Corporation

Downstream Corporation - collage by douglas brent smith, 30 August 1991. The board of directors is not in the mood for slacking. The stream must keep flowing and the product must roll. There is money to be made, but wait! That pause for fun has already begun. For most of my life, collages all came together in one day. They could take hours, but I would seldom stop working on one until it was done. Usually the radio would be playing endlessly in the background -- WMMR when I lived in NJ or PA, WXRT when I lived in Chicago. For this collage, it was WXRT all the way. - dbS -

Face In The Crowd

Face In The Crowd - pen and marker drawing by douglas brent smith, 1989 At the buttom of the drawing you can see the effect of water on the paper. I feel lucky that my journals weren't more severely damaged or even burned completely up in the fire at Elm Street. I spent hours afterwards drying them out in the sun on a trampoline, carefully turning page by page and giving each page some drying time. This is from journal #26. I was up to journal #41 at the time. Fortunately, not all of them were drenched.

Dreaming of Mineral Wealth

Dreaming of Mineral Wealth - collage by douglas brent smith, 21 November 1988.

douglas brent smith

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