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I Didn't Look Back...but If I Did...by David Spiegel



“I’m numb to judgement — even my own judgement of myself. I know I’m doing the best I can. Judging yourself is a huge vulnerability because everyone else is already doing it for you. And if you’re not in that place, you’ve got no shot. Everybody else sucks at stuff too.”
~ Gary Vaynerchuck, Medium

I'm sure that if I took a look back at my writings from this time of year for the last few years, my messaging to myself would be pretty much the same. 

New Year's day is just one more day on the calendar.
January 1st does not bring new a new beginning to my life.

The idea that this upcoming year will some how magically be better than the last one is silly to me.
Simply put, I wake up each day with the knowledge that I will work hard at being better today than I was yesterday. Just that simple.

Every day is an opportunity to create a better version of me than I was the day before. Therefore, it is only logical that by doing this, this year will see an improved version of David of last year.
The only variable is how much better,and quite frankly, that does not matter.

Better is better.

Whether it's 1% or 10% .

It's still improvement.

If there was a way to measure these things, who knows, maybe 2018 saw a huge shift on the "better" scale. Maybe that percentage of "better" will only be half as much on a daily basis this year than last year. Who cares? Better is still better!

Say my goal was to say become a better free throw shooter. On day one I shot 1 for 10. On day two I shot 2 for 10. That's a 100% improvement. On day three I shot 3 for 10. That's great, even though statistically I didn't improve as much.

You see where this is going. If I got 1 more in every day, at the end of 10 days I would be 10 for 10..
Would that mean I was done, finished, perfect? Or maybe of the 10 for 10, 9 hit the rim first and then fell in. Maybe I could work at each one being a swish....nothing but net. I would still be 10 for 10, yet improving none the less.

Better is better. Period!

My plan for today?
Nothing but net!
Swish!


-- David Spiegel







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Wild Towers

  Wild Towers -- collage by Douglas Brent Smith Notes: In the lower right corner is one of my favorite photos -- my brother Dave and me at Grandmom and Grandpop Rogers' house. If you look closely you can see Grandpop Rogers sitting in his chair. He was probably reading the newspaper, the Bridgeton Evening News. It was a great newspaper in those days and Grandpop read it front to back every night. There are more clear versions of this picture, probably even in other collages because I love it so much. Those were wonderful days and I miss my little brother so much. 

Note to Self 20230423

If you keep working your craft you will be amazed at how much you've learned and how much more there is yet to learn. -- doug smith  

Gears of Joy

  Gears of Joy, collage by Douglas Brent Smith This is page 305 of Journal #33, Life in Progress. 

Why Gamble?

The less we make our world look like a casino the better off we'll be. -- Doug smith Notes: Just for fun, I added this collage. It is not a casino.   

Bugs In The System

  Bugs In The System, collage, mixed media by Douglas Brent Smith

The Towers of Vettunder

  The Towers of Vettunder - painting by Douglas Brent Smith, acrylic. This one feels like another cover to a science fiction novel. In the 70's I might have tried to write that book. Maybe it's not too late. 

Horse Named Hannah

  the horse got free in a galloping hurry needed something to read and a tall cup of milk I did post this earlier under the title "Who Let the Horse In." Here it is again.  Horse Named Hannah -- sketch by douglas brent smith, 1998, from Journal #33, Life In Progress

Framed By A Notion

 Framed By A Notion, Collage by douglas Brent smith, 1996

This Is Not A Code

This Is Not A Code -- collage by douglas brent smith  

With Every Available Device

  With Every Available Device -- painting by Douglas Brent Smith, December 1976. This is another of the series of acrylic paintings that I did in Oak Lawn, IL, living with Mom and Jack for a brief few months. My favorite art movement is surrealism, and this one clearly emulates the work of the surrealists, in particular Yves Tanguy .  When I moved from Colorado to Newtown in 2016 I threw away a number of my paintings, many from this period of time. I did not like them enough to keep them, I guess although I feel some regret at heaving them, one can't save everything and I live in an apartment that's about 600 square feet. No real storage room. This one survived the cut.