i left my typewriter in new jersey
as if some bloodied murder weapon
trying to hide the crimes
or forget the posturing
of the scene of all my passion
and pathos
for these seven quite odd years
where manhood came
and with it the twisting
torture of passion's pain
distressed and then daring
darling and then distressing
messing with alternatives
though the people traded places
sliding parade-like suddenly
my massive wooden desk i
called the aircraft carrier (covered
with unfinished scripts, snatches of poems,
and doctors' bills)
half my soul (it seems) was
spilled poured and splattered
into these gold, black, red walls
onto the dusty floor filled with
cat hair, beard hair, auburn hair
too precious to sweep away
no, it was not a castle
or a page from Architecture Digest
but it gave me all I ever needed
to become an artist
they say we become completely new
every seven years
we'll see i suppose we will see
i left my typewriter in new jersey
i guess i'll need to return for it.
douglas brent smith
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